Wednesday, 30 December 2020

13. New Year, New Me is Bollocks, But This Time It Could Be True

 




I am going to be honest - I have NEVER understood the whole new year hoopla.   I get it from an ancient "movement of the planets" perspective, and I would probably have been quite excited in the Middle Ages, when I was a witch, but right here, right now?   No, no and no.


I always think there's something forced about New Year's Eve - you HAVE to go to an amazing party, you HAVE to get drunk, and you have to make bollocks promises.   I'm not good with things that are expected of me, or that are hyped up by others, and I am not a big drinker and I hardly ever do parties.    Although this year will be different, do I feel the need to celebrate in my Party of One?  Also no.


My biggest problem is with the cult of resolutions.  Why do we do this?  Is it good to reflect and make changes?  Absolutely.  Is it good to only do it once a year, on a forced timescale?  Absolutely not.


From an early age, I hated the whole "you need to pick a New Year's resolution" deal.   Why do I HAVE TO????  With the lack of illumination of a child, I didn't think I needed to change at all, yet there was this weird expectation that I should.  Worse, the suggestions that were being made to me were things I enjoyed, thank you very much - biting my nails, eating too many crisps, picking my nose ...


As the years go by, you realise this conversation is about people trying to iron out your faults, and it becomes quite insulting.  Lose weight.  Wash the dishes after you've used them.  Keep the house tidy.  No, no and no.  Take your ideas and shove them up your arse.  I am not going to change just because you want me to.  That's not how it works.


Eventually of course, you mature, and sometimes you CHOOSE to make a resolution, but it didn't take me very long to get to the place I am now, a battleline I have fiercely defended for 20 years - if you want to make a change, don't fucking wait for New Year's Day to do it.


The great thing about change is that you can do it at any time.  You can go big, you can go slow.  You can be bold, you can be subtle.  It doesn't require anyone else's timescale to do it.  In fact, if you do it for any reason other than your own selfish desire, it won't work anyway.


For change to take root and become a habit and become a norm, it requires motivation.  It needs a WHY.  Compare the woman who wants to lose "some" weight to the bride-to-be who needs to drop 2 dress sizes.  Only 1 of these women will be successful, and it will be the one who has a concrete, endlessly inspiring WHY.


We should never change for the sake of change.  Change when you want to, or when you need to.  Do it to please yourself, and commit to it 100%.   It's never too early or too late to change, and you can do it as many times as you want.   Just don't do it because someone else - or society - thinks you should.



As Facebook reminds me of my previous posts at this time of year, they all seem filled with a quiet desperation – this WILL be my year; this WILL be the year everything is better.  They make sad reading, not only because they weren’t true, but also because of the girl who thought that just by saying them, they could be true.

2021 actually excites me, and it’s a long time since I’ve felt like.  I’m not full of grim determination and resolution.  No, I’m filled with the awe of opportunity and the thrilling knowledge that I don’t know where life will take me this year, and I am absolutely cool with that.

I’ve heard the Universe calling to me these last 6 months, and I know a Big Change is coming.  I know I am getting ready, and I know I am excited to finally be walking forwards – too many years of my life have been spent in the quagmire.  I know I am finding myself again, becoming myself again, and OWNING myself again – wow that’s been a long time coming.

This New Year is so different in so many ways, and just like the way I got excited about Christmas for the first time in 5 years, I am also a little tingly about New Years Eve.  Not because I intend on making any resolutions, I hasten to add, but because this New Year seems to be all about HOPE.  It’s as if there’s a collective consciousness around the world willing things to feel different on the stroke of midnight.

Will they?  Well they won’t BE different, but maybe the ticking of the clock will be a mental reset for us all, and signal a time of looking forward, rather than feeling stuck.



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